Men in rainbow wigs heckled the president of Iran today.
God is better than you because he made someone think of donning a rainbow wig before protesting against a notorious international figure. The only thing you ever made someone think of was what to get for lunch, and rainbow wigs had no part in the decision.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Eternity
God is eternal. That's a really, really, really long time.
God is better than you because after almost three years, He has allowed this blog to continue to exist so that I can post here long after I had completely forgotten about it. I suppose you could argue that it's the staff at blogger.com that allowed it, but it was God who allowed them to do their job. So there.
God is better than you because after almost three years, He has allowed this blog to continue to exist so that I can post here long after I had completely forgotten about it. I suppose you could argue that it's the staff at blogger.com that allowed it, but it was God who allowed them to do their job. So there.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Happy
It's a nice day out today.
God is better than you because He created butterflies. Can you make a butterfly? I mean a live one, not one of those origami things although God can make those too.
God is better than you because He created butterflies. Can you make a butterfly? I mean a live one, not one of those origami things although God can make those too.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Be my Valentine
Happy Twelfth Day After Groundhog Day everyone!
God is better than you because He doesn't need to buy candy, flowers or stuffed animals today, nor does He have to take anyone out to dinner just because some grand marketing scheme compels us to.
God is better than you because He doesn't need to buy candy, flowers or stuffed animals today, nor does He have to take anyone out to dinner just because some grand marketing scheme compels us to.
Monday, February 13, 2006
Oopsie
Apparently there was some kind of little accident over the weekend involving the Vice-President of the United States, a friend of his, and a round of birdshot.
God is better than you because He doesn't make up lame excuses for shooting you in the face. If He's mad enough at you to shoot you in the face, He will flat out tell you so. Or if you get Him REALLY mad, He might give you leprosy or Parkinson's Disease. Take THAT Michael J. Fox!
God is better than you because He doesn't make up lame excuses for shooting you in the face. If He's mad enough at you to shoot you in the face, He will flat out tell you so. Or if you get Him REALLY mad, He might give you leprosy or Parkinson's Disease. Take THAT Michael J. Fox!
Friday, February 10, 2006
Safe and secure
I have never been abducted by aliens. But that doesn't mean I have never been anally probed.
God is better than you because He has protected your home planet from alien invasion for thousands of years.
God is better than you because He has protected your home planet from alien invasion for thousands of years.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Madagascar
I finally got around to seeing Madagascar the other day. Funny movie. Which reminds me...
God is better than you because He can tell you exactly what a sea turtle swimming off the coast of Madagascar is thinking.
God is better than you because He can tell you exactly what a sea turtle swimming off the coast of Madagascar is thinking.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Ha ha!
A sense of humor is a wonderful quality in a diety. But so is politeness.
God is better than you because He's seen you naked and doesn't laugh.
God is better than you because He's seen you naked and doesn't laugh.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Big time
God is big. I'm talking huge here. He is so incredibly enormous that you can't even begin to comprehend how big He really is. And as the old saying goes... the bigger, the better.
God is better than you because He is bigger than the universe. You will never be that big, no matter how much you eat.
God is better than you because He is bigger than the universe. You will never be that big, no matter how much you eat.
Friday, February 03, 2006
Fan club
OK, maybe this one doesn't apply to Oprah Winfrey, Our Lady of the Perpetual Diet, but I doubt she reads this blog anyway.
God is better than you because He has millions of people worshipping Him. How many are worshipping you?
God is better than you because He has millions of people worshipping Him. How many are worshipping you?
Thursday, February 02, 2006
The patient gamer
Overheating power supplies. Blue screens of death. Dissatisfaction of game developers over the chosen media format. These are just a few of the problems plaguing the Xbox 360. If any other company devloped it, you'd never see another game console come out of their warehouses ever again. But we're talking about Microsoft, a company that has amassed a fortune by making people accept merchandise ranging from poorly-designed to outright defective. I expect they'll soon be releasing a handheld unit that burns the image of Bill Gates into your palm.
God is better than you because He knew that the Xbox 360 would suck before it was even designed. That's why He's saving his money for a Playstation 3 instead.
God is better than you because He knew that the Xbox 360 would suck before it was even designed. That's why He's saving his money for a Playstation 3 instead.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
I keek a touchdown
I hear there's some kind of sporting event planned for this upcoming weekend. God knows all about it too.
God is better than you because He knows who is going to win Super Bowl XL. And He knows both teams are praying for a win. And He knows one of them is going to be very ticked off after the game. And He doesn't care, because it's just a stupid game.
God is better than you because He knows who is going to win Super Bowl XL. And He knows both teams are praying for a win. And He knows one of them is going to be very ticked off after the game. And He doesn't care, because it's just a stupid game.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
In the beginning...
Yea verily, in the beginning there was the Word and the word was... blog.
Anyhoos, the purpose of this blog is to demonstrate all the ways that God is better than you. It's something we all know deep inside, but it doesn't hurt to be reminded of it once in a while. Every day, a new demonstration of God's superiority to you will be posted here.
So, without further ado, I present to you the first reason why God is better than you:
God is better than you because He can smite you with a lightning bolt if you don't come back and read this blog every day.
Anyhoos, the purpose of this blog is to demonstrate all the ways that God is better than you. It's something we all know deep inside, but it doesn't hurt to be reminded of it once in a while. Every day, a new demonstration of God's superiority to you will be posted here.
So, without further ado, I present to you the first reason why God is better than you:
God is better than you because He can smite you with a lightning bolt if you don't come back and read this blog every day.
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